1. Decreasing gifts output by upping requirements for “Being Good.”
2. Replace expensive Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer with less-expensive cousin Randy The Flashlight Duct-Taped to Nose Reindeer.
3. Ruthlessly destroy Elf Workers Union and rule North Pole with an iron fist.
4. Hire less-expensive elves from India.
5. Deliver only Gift Cards
6. See if this Jesus guy he keeps hearing about can help deliver some of these presents.
7. Sell coal for bad kids to coal industry. Give bad kids low-cost steaming pile of reindeer poop.
8. Fly sleigh to Washington and ask government for 23 billion dollar bail out or Christmas is canceled.
9. Look again at that email from the overthrown Nigerian king who needs help moving money to a new bank account.
10. Talk to lawyer about finally cracking down on Santa image rights violations.
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